So here’s the skinny: We talk in a much more subtle way than you. We prefer to talk with body language and scent and only meow because most of you never pick up on what we try to say. This also means that every cat has to develop a vocabulary specific to the monkeys they […]
Yesterday I took another Nap Day. I needed the extra sleep to gather enough energy for today, Nap Day mark 2!!! I started off by sleeping in this morning, then had a quick breakfast in the late morning before another nap in my Oceanic Simulation Device. Then I conned one of the monkeys into giving […]
For the last few days the word monkey has had his head buried in one of those flappy pagey wordy things. He just stares at it for hours on end, all the while paying no attention to me mind you. I wonder what has him so fascinated about that dumb thing. I look in it […]
It was raining sideways today here. The cold stuff too, none of that light drizzle or warm summer rain stuff. No, it was big icy cold drops cutting a swath like little wet ice razors. Thankfully my palace is safe, warm and dry. But not all are as lucky as I. What I saw when […]
The monkeys were shooting more videos today and none of me, if you can believe that. Not a single shot I walked into was used in the final cuts, not even any of the narration I did off camera was included. Still you’ve got to feel bad for the monkeys, they’re not natural stars like […]
The word monkey has been staring into one of those weird folding pictures boxes they play with. He seemed to alternate between begging it for something through tear soaked sobs and threatening it with physical violence directed at both it and its progeny.
No, thankfully it isn’t that kind of multiplying. They’re recruiting others into the fold. Getting volunteers, interns and all other manner of helpers to get things going. Can you imagine??? Monkeys running around recruiting other monkeys for their monkey business. It just couldn’t be more entertaining to watch them do this. Its like watching big […]
I saw my biggest fan today and he’s working hard to get my official fan website up and running. We should be seeing something on that front soon. It’s hard being a celebrity like me but the most important thing is to always appreciate your fans. Thanks for all your hard work Tank!!!
I watched the word monkey bang his head against the wall trying to pick a pirate name today. Even the magic monkey thought a passable name up. Of course, it can’t hold a candle to mine. It doesn’t strike pant-wetting fear into the hearts of man and beast alike, as mine does. I don’t even […]
Today the word monkey explained what a powder monkey does on a boat. I find myself less than impressed. Not only do those stupid monkeys expect me to do more than sit around looking adorable, but the work they want me to do involves carrying a smelly black powder and cannonballs around.