Monkey’s Cat’s Log, 26th June 2014
Today I had the word monkey commission the matriarch monkey to paint my official pirate portrait. I’ve seen to it that the work shall commence at once and without delay. She’ll work night and day to see this masterpiece, this magnum opus come to fruition.
First I’ll have to pose for a photograph and then she’ll use that framework to paint me in the flair of Anne Bonny and Mary Read.
This will be an elegant visage which will strike all-encompassing fear into the hearts of my enemies and awe coupled with adoration into the hearts of the rest. Never before will the world have seen it’s like. Never has there been this beautiful blending of dichotomy, the gracefully serene image that is still capable of sending shivers down the spine.
I’ll be the most feared and loved swashbuckler to ever grace the seven seas with her presence.