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Yesterday Today

Yesterday was a cat holiday for those not in the know.  It was Nap Day, an annual day set aside for worship and celebration of the cat god of sleep, Morpheus.  Yeah I know, you thought he was a Greek god but I’m telling you, that Ovid monkey had a cat who he stole the idea from. […]


The monkeys were shooting more videos today and none of me, if you can believe that. Not a single shot I walked into was used in the final cuts, not even any of the narration I did off camera was included. Still you’ve got to feel bad for the monkeys, they’re not natural stars like […]

My Fans Await

I saw my biggest fan today and he’s working hard to get my official fan website up and running. We should be seeing something on that front soon. It’s hard being a celebrity like me but the most important thing is to always appreciate your fans. Thanks for all your hard work Tank!!!

Anything You Can Do…

I watched the word monkey bang his head against the wall trying to pick a pirate name today. Even the magic monkey thought a passable name up. Of course, it can’t hold a candle to mine. It doesn’t strike pant-wetting fear into the hearts of man and beast alike, as mine does. I don’t even […]

Work??? Surely You Jest

Today the word monkey explained what a powder monkey does on a boat.  I find myself less than impressed.  Not only do those stupid monkeys expect me to do more than sit around looking adorable, but the work they want me to do involves carrying a smelly black powder and cannonballs around.

I’m A Star!!!

Today I became a real star when I helped the monkeys with their video.  I let the magic monkey sit in the big chair so he would feel important but the show was really all about me.  I had a good reading too, the word monkey didn’t ask me to repeat a single line while […]